Thursday, March 13, 2014
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
Sunday, March 09, 2014
Saturday, March 08, 2014
Friday, March 07, 2014
Thursday, March 06, 2014
Wednesday, March 05, 2014
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Monday, March 03, 2014
Sunday, March 02, 2014
Saturday, March 01, 2014
Friday, February 28, 2014
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Friday, February 21, 2014
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Monday, February 10, 2014
Sunday, February 09, 2014
Saturday, February 08, 2014
Friday, February 07, 2014
True Love
You really need to love something to be willing to subject yourself to the degradation of a spandex unitard and swim cap. Note the goggle marks.
Thursday, February 06, 2014
With my 2013 Resolutions
In the background. I suppose these work for 2014 too.
1.Avoid the lesser rappers
2. No yelling
3. Be grateful
4. Be gracious
5. Be present
6. Stop fucking swearing
Wednesday, February 05, 2014
Tuesday, February 04, 2014
Monday, February 03, 2014
Explanations. Or What isThe #365feministselfie project?
Viva La Feminista explains
AllParenting
"The point of feminist selfies are to show — and see — real women. Arreola [voice of Viva La Feminista]explains, "The photos are about the real you. They aren't supposed to be the glam-you (although those are welcomed). The foundation of this challenge [is to] conquer [the] fear of seeing yourself every.single.day. We might look at ourselves to put our contacts in, even makeup on, but taking a selfie and posting it means really looking at yourself. And hopefully at the end (or much sooner!) you will find it less painful and more enjoyable. I don't want to turn us into Paris Hiltons, but rather individuals who don't cringe when we need to take a photo."A dude's take
Guessing we'll see a lot more debate.
Sunday, February 02, 2014
Saturday, February 01, 2014
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Monday, January 27, 2014
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
This Is What A Relationship Looks Like: Fat Lard Part Deux Edition
Aaaand, we're back!
YG: Come over here. Let me see that dress.
JM: Yes?
YG: That's what I thought. There's a weird fold here. It makes it look like you have a pot belly.
JM: [blank stare]
YG: I mean, your body is so much nicer than that dress makes you look.
JM: It's new.
YG: You like me to be honest about your wardrobe. I'm just saying that you should wear one of your other...nicer, dresses.
JM: So, you're saying I'm fat?
YG: Exactly.
JM: You say, "that's not a flattering dress." I hear, "BONER KILLER."
YG: It's the dress, not you.
JM: BONER KILLER.
About 45 minutes later. JM is standing in the mirror adjusting the belt on the fat dress.
JM: But, what if I wear the belt this way?
YG: [blank stare]
JM: I mean, as a casual dress, it's comfortable.
YG: Please don't perseverate.
JM: Did you just use a Scrabble word?
YG: Yes.
JM: So you're saying I'm fat and dumb? Nice.
per·sev·er·ate/pərˈsevəˌrāt/ Verb: Repeat or prolong an action, thought, or utterance after the stimulus that prompted it has ceased.
YG: Come over here. Let me see that dress.
JM: Yes?
YG: That's what I thought. There's a weird fold here. It makes it look like you have a pot belly.
JM: [blank stare]
YG: I mean, your body is so much nicer than that dress makes you look.
JM: It's new.
YG: You like me to be honest about your wardrobe. I'm just saying that you should wear one of your other...nicer, dresses.
JM: So, you're saying I'm fat?
YG: Exactly.
JM: You say, "that's not a flattering dress." I hear, "BONER KILLER."
YG: It's the dress, not you.
JM: BONER KILLER.
About 45 minutes later. JM is standing in the mirror adjusting the belt on the fat dress.
JM: But, what if I wear the belt this way?
YG: [blank stare]
JM: I mean, as a casual dress, it's comfortable.
YG: Please don't perseverate.
JM: Did you just use a Scrabble word?
YG: Yes.
JM: So you're saying I'm fat and dumb? Nice.
per·sev·er·ate/pərˈsevəˌrāt/ Verb: Repeat or prolong an action, thought, or utterance after the stimulus that prompted it has ceased.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
And Sometimes They Were Very Sad
I just finished reading Jeffrey Eugenides’ The Marriage Plot, and was hooked from the first line, “To start with, look at all the books.” Books and reading are central to the character development, but I especially loved the use of “Sometimes They Were Very Sad” from Ludwig Bemelmans’s Madeline as a section title. Zygote loves Madeline, and so did/do I.
“And Sometimes They Were Very Sad” is my life right now. I am leaving my old job and starting a new one. This will be a surprise to absolutely no one that has followed me for a while, but I am surprised by the tsunami of emotions accompanying it. I HATE BEING EMOTIONAL. You know that. Vulcan, Vulcan, Vulcan.
My job has been pretty much the only constant in my life over the past five and a half years. I’m cleaning out my office and I get to see the physical manifestation of change. In different files marked ‘personal,’ I found:
•The moving contract I signed when I moved from New Jersey to Cambridge.
•The lease from my first apartment
•The retainer agreement for my divorce attorney
•Listings for apartments that YG and I looked at when we decided to move in together
•Various notes from the MG’s school
•A “Congratulations on Your Wedding” card
•The playlists for our wedding
•Leave of Absence forms from 2009 and 2011 requesting time off to take care of Zygote and Z2
I knew maybe 4 people in Massachusetts when I took this job. Now I have four more people in my FAMILY.
So what’s my point? I am thrilled about the new gig and all the “I am going to be a brand new me that everyone falls in love with and thinks is the smartest, funniest, most competent person in the universe” bullshit that accompanies it. But I’m also sad. I will miss this place and my friends and my dusty cube and the gross bagel crumbs that I can never get out of my keyboard and the color printer that never works and the LiveMeetings that never end up “live” and the weird, never-ending pile of feminine hygiene products in the women’s bathroom and that person (whoever you are) that thinks it’s necessary to bring incense sticks to said bathroom and the too-long lines in the cafeteria and too long meetings and not enough meetings and the press release approval process and THE CONFERENCE and the never-ending drama of Conference and my Conference routine with my work BFF of work/bitch/work some more/buy new shoes/walk over Golden Gate Bridge/eat and scheduling conflicts and “I’m sorry, I was on mute” and “what part of deadline did you not understand” and the same familiar cast of characters. With Facebook and LinkedIn and email, I’m sure I’ll stay in touch with my favorite people. But that’s not the same thing as seeing people in person and getting to know them over the mundane chitchat of how was your day/it’s snowing/128 sucks.
DS, my first real friend at work, once described me as an M&M because I was “crusty on the outside, but nice and soft on the inside.” I thought this was amazingly appropriate and a lot better than the usual “she’s kind of an asshole until you get to know her.” He came up with that description when I cried at work because another coworker was leaving us and it was weird for all parties involved. Normally, I’d opt for being stabbed with a blunt knife before crying at work.
I didn’t cry when I left my first company after being there for seven years, but I did have this odd ‘I am never going to go through this door again’ feeling on my last day. It was a bit like leaving college. I’m going to try not to cry tomorrow because that would be weird and awkward and nobody wants to deal with that kind of gawky self-consciousness at work. So I’ll do my job, make some self-deprecating remarks, try to be funny and go about keeping my shit together while I say goodbye.
I’m going to miss it.
Onward and upward.
“And Sometimes They Were Very Sad” is my life right now. I am leaving my old job and starting a new one. This will be a surprise to absolutely no one that has followed me for a while, but I am surprised by the tsunami of emotions accompanying it. I HATE BEING EMOTIONAL. You know that. Vulcan, Vulcan, Vulcan.
My job has been pretty much the only constant in my life over the past five and a half years. I’m cleaning out my office and I get to see the physical manifestation of change. In different files marked ‘personal,’ I found:
•The moving contract I signed when I moved from New Jersey to Cambridge.
•The lease from my first apartment
•The retainer agreement for my divorce attorney
•Listings for apartments that YG and I looked at when we decided to move in together
•Various notes from the MG’s school
•A “Congratulations on Your Wedding” card
•The playlists for our wedding
•Leave of Absence forms from 2009 and 2011 requesting time off to take care of Zygote and Z2
I knew maybe 4 people in Massachusetts when I took this job. Now I have four more people in my FAMILY.
So what’s my point? I am thrilled about the new gig and all the “I am going to be a brand new me that everyone falls in love with and thinks is the smartest, funniest, most competent person in the universe” bullshit that accompanies it. But I’m also sad. I will miss this place and my friends and my dusty cube and the gross bagel crumbs that I can never get out of my keyboard and the color printer that never works and the LiveMeetings that never end up “live” and the weird, never-ending pile of feminine hygiene products in the women’s bathroom and that person (whoever you are) that thinks it’s necessary to bring incense sticks to said bathroom and the too-long lines in the cafeteria and too long meetings and not enough meetings and the press release approval process and THE CONFERENCE and the never-ending drama of Conference and my Conference routine with my work BFF of work/bitch/work some more/buy new shoes/walk over Golden Gate Bridge/eat and scheduling conflicts and “I’m sorry, I was on mute” and “what part of deadline did you not understand” and the same familiar cast of characters. With Facebook and LinkedIn and email, I’m sure I’ll stay in touch with my favorite people. But that’s not the same thing as seeing people in person and getting to know them over the mundane chitchat of how was your day/it’s snowing/128 sucks.
DS, my first real friend at work, once described me as an M&M because I was “crusty on the outside, but nice and soft on the inside.” I thought this was amazingly appropriate and a lot better than the usual “she’s kind of an asshole until you get to know her.” He came up with that description when I cried at work because another coworker was leaving us and it was weird for all parties involved. Normally, I’d opt for being stabbed with a blunt knife before crying at work.
I didn’t cry when I left my first company after being there for seven years, but I did have this odd ‘I am never going to go through this door again’ feeling on my last day. It was a bit like leaving college. I’m going to try not to cry tomorrow because that would be weird and awkward and nobody wants to deal with that kind of gawky self-consciousness at work. So I’ll do my job, make some self-deprecating remarks, try to be funny and go about keeping my shit together while I say goodbye.
I’m going to miss it.
Onward and upward.
Saturday, January 07, 2012
The Next Suze Orman?
Money Lessons.
Zygote: Where are you going, Daddy?
YG: I'm going to Seattle.
Zygote: Why?
YG: I'm talking to some people about a job.
Zygote: Why?
JM: Mommy and Daddy both work and sometimes we like to have new jobs.
Zygote: Why?
YG: Because we want money.
Zygote: Why?
YG: We want to work hard now and make money so that we don't have to work so hard later and can have nice things now.
Zygote: Why?
YG: You like nice things. You like your lollipops, right?
Zygote: I want a lollipop.
YG: You can't have a lollipop right now, but we work to make money so that we can buy more lollipops.
[Zygote exits. One minute passes, and there is a knock on the door]
Zygote: I have money.
[YG opens the door. Z is standing there with a few coins from our coin jar.]
Zygote: I have money. Gimme a lollipop.
/End scene
Zygote: Where are you going, Daddy?
YG: I'm going to Seattle.
Zygote: Why?
YG: I'm talking to some people about a job.
Zygote: Why?
JM: Mommy and Daddy both work and sometimes we like to have new jobs.
Zygote: Why?
YG: Because we want money.
Zygote: Why?
YG: We want to work hard now and make money so that we don't have to work so hard later and can have nice things now.
Zygote: Why?
YG: You like nice things. You like your lollipops, right?
Zygote: I want a lollipop.
YG: You can't have a lollipop right now, but we work to make money so that we can buy more lollipops.
[Zygote exits. One minute passes, and there is a knock on the door]
Zygote: I have money.
[YG opens the door. Z is standing there with a few coins from our coin jar.]
Zygote: I have money. Gimme a lollipop.
/End scene
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
MG and Zygote's Thoughts on Vasectomies
My daddy has a boo boo. And a diaper.
Daddy has a boo boo on his pee. I can't touch it.
I don't understand why you need the surgery. You can just not have sex. . . Gross.
If I can't say "balls," what do you call them? What? Testicles sounds worse than balls.
Daddy has a boo boo on his pee. I can't touch it.
I don't understand why you need the surgery. You can just not have sex. . . Gross.
If I can't say "balls," what do you call them? What? Testicles sounds worse than balls.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
This Is What A Relationship Looks Like: True Love Edition
Scene: JM finishes telling YG the harrowing story of spending 2.5 hours on a Sunday in urgent care with two sick babies that culminated in some hipster douchebag asking, "is anyone going to do something about that screaming baby?"
JM: Well, so I lost it. I told him he could suck my dick.
YG: That's so crude.
JM: Suck my dick.
YG: You know I hate it when you say that.
JM: Can you think of a more appropriate phrase I could have said to him?
YG: Really, go fuck yourself would have been better.
Perhaps it's time to rethink my language when "go fuck yourself" is the better phrase.
JM: Well, so I lost it. I told him he could suck my dick.
YG: That's so crude.
JM: Suck my dick.
YG: You know I hate it when you say that.
JM: Can you think of a more appropriate phrase I could have said to him?
YG: Really, go fuck yourself would have been better.
Perhaps it's time to rethink my language when "go fuck yourself" is the better phrase.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Meet the New Boss
I'm working on a new project, a new blog that narrows my focus down to the things I get all frothy and excited about: food, clothes, nutrition, "women's issues," etc. I wanted to keep the Like Seriously name, but then I couldn't think of a word for women that wasn't either insulting (Like Seriously Bitches) or too twee (Like Seriously Chicks). I went with Grrrls because maybe, deep down, I am still riot grrrl at my core. Check it out: http://like-seriouslygrrrls.blogspot.com
I'm still going to keep this one for updates on the spawn and my never ending job search and whatever else might be jingling around in my brain.
The new blog was born during a class I just took, Working on Purpose (I KNOW), where we had to make lists of things we enjoyed and liked to talk about. Besides my kids and YG and running and watching a LOT of tv, my list consisted of writing and kvetching about food, fashion, feminism. And then we got to the hard part -- is there anything you can do with that? I immediately thought that I could write about those things, but then quickly retreated into "what's the point? no one reads." But, I guess the point is to do it anyway.
So yeah, I'm doing it.
I'm still going to keep this one for updates on the spawn and my never ending job search and whatever else might be jingling around in my brain.
The new blog was born during a class I just took, Working on Purpose (I KNOW), where we had to make lists of things we enjoyed and liked to talk about. Besides my kids and YG and running and watching a LOT of tv, my list consisted of writing and kvetching about food, fashion, feminism. And then we got to the hard part -- is there anything you can do with that? I immediately thought that I could write about those things, but then quickly retreated into "what's the point? no one reads." But, I guess the point is to do it anyway.
So yeah, I'm doing it.
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