Wednesday, July 20, 2011

This Is What A Relationship Looks Like: Cycling Edition

YG: I've been obsessed with rims lately.
YG: Let me rephrase that. I've been looking into new rims.
JM: Yeah, baby, I'm going to get new with your rims.
YG: I don't even remember who built my rims.
JM: God made your rims.
YG: You really are a twelve year old boy.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Offensive and Not Politically Correct

Examples of why I need to clean up my language:

* I was working on an essay and went to describe something as "that's so gay" and thought that I needed something better that wouldn't offend the mos. The first thought that popped into my head as an alternative was, "that's so retarded." Hmmm....

* During a particularly bad toddler tantrum, I said, "Oh.My.God. You need to stop it with this motherfucking crying." Okay if I was Samuel L. Jackson. I am not.

* Dropping something on the floor, I hear Zygote whine her usual "uh oh" followed by something that sounded remarkably like "shit."

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Parenting-Related News I Neglected To Comment On While I Was Watching Too Much Bad TV and Nursing This Child

The Casey Anthony Trial

I didn't really follow any of this and in fact, finding that Wikipedia link was probably was the most information I've ever consumed about the case. Generally my rule is that if Nancy Grace is talking about it, it isn't worth following because she is a fear mongering nutcase. Of course, I am horrified by the murder of this child, but I honestly don't understand all the media attention and the righteous indignation by people who seemed to be overly involved in this case.

There's a whole chapter in The Mommy Myth about women who kill their children and our sick fascination with them. There's a part of us that likes to see them suffer because it makes us feel like better parents of a higher moral character. Okay, maybe, but isn't 'I didn't murder my kid' setting the bar really low? Even though my parenting philosophy could best be described as "good enough," I aim higher than that. I don't know if she was guilty or not, but a USA Today/Gallup Poll said that while about two-thirds of Americans (64 percent) believe Casey Anthony "definitely" or "probably" murdered her daughter, women are much more likely than men to believe the murder charges against Anthony. The poll reported that women were more than twice as likely as men, 28 percent versus 11 percent, to think Anthony "definitely" committed murder. That's definitely a gap.

It seems to me that the anger is misdirected, as usual. I am angry that this woman, murderer or not, will probably get some sort of book deal and end up on the celebrity circuit and that the real systematic problems that we should be angry about won't get addressed because we're all too busy watching her on Dancing With the Stars or some shit like that.

Taking Your Fat Kids Away

A LOT has been written about the obesity specialist who is suggesting that the State intervene when children get too obese. Because state intervention with children always works out great. There are so many things wrong with this suggestion, but I think my favorite quote might be that state intervention "ideally will support not just the child but the whole family, with the goal of reuniting child and family as soon as possible. That may require instruction on parenting."

Instruction on parenting. Yes, parenting. No instruction on healthy eating or avoiding advertising or peer pressure or marketing or how to eat healthy when there are no grocery stores in your crappy neighborhood. Nope, what you need is instruction on PARENTING.

I absolutely loved what Lesley Kinzel had to say about this:

"Placing a child in foster care is not a minor inconvenience, and yet here we are in a world where researchers can frame it as “discomfort” and nothing more. I am inclined to blame a cultural ideology in which fat children are not identified as individuals requiring personal attention and support, but are instead simply an embarrassing problem to be solved — or eradicated.

The focus on childhood obesity at the expense of focusing on health for all children creates a Machiavellian situation in which fat kids are to be slimmed down by any means necessary — even if it means taking them away from loving and attentive parents. Meanwhile, average-sized kids who also subsist on fast food and a lack of exercise are ignored, because these “risky” behaviors are evidently only a problem if the child is fat.

Placing fat kids in foster care only serves to punish both kid and parents in a brutally public way, as the child will undoubtedly internalize the reasons for their removal as being their fault (and who will pay for the years of subsequent therapy they may require?), and the parents will be socialized as monsters who are slowly murdering their offspring."

Breastpump Action
I read this post on Motherlode a few nights ago while I was bleary-eyed and up with Z2. A woman wrote in to discuss her coworkers who were offended by the mere presence of her breast pump. Okay, seriously, when will people grow the fuck up? I have never encountered anything like this personally and I try to ignore any stares or tsks/tsks I get when I am feeding Z2 (and Zygote before her) out in public, but you read so many horror stories -- I have a hard time understanding why this is actually an issue. That's what boobs are made for! I do not enjoy flashing my tits in public (post-college anyway), but I have to feed my kid. And when I am at work, I have to pump to feed said kid. It's about the food. And trust me, there is NOTHING sexual about pumping. To this lady's coworkers: get over it.