Friday, October 06, 2006

Yeah, It's Lame but TGIF

Long week. I left work around 3 and am logged in from home and it feels like a monster luxury. A couple of things:
* Still processing the events of earlier in the week.
* Am so happy that all my TV is back on: Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Gilmore Girls, etc. Now I don't have to pretend that I'm a cultural elitist anymore. I can just sink into my couch with my beer and guacamole and be happy.
* The new Yo La Tengo is REALLY good.
* Work. Still like the job, but had a crazy few days with trying to finalize two press releases after being out of the office for 3 days.
* I ALWAYS feel guilty when I take time off of work, even when it's vacation. Even when it's something awful like a family funeral and a divorce. I have no idea what this is about -- I've just always been this way. On my return, I got an email from UNNAMED PARTY reminding me that I should send "updates" to people so they "wouldn't think I dropped the ball." WTF? I still checked email. I let everyone know I was going to be out. I shot off a hasty (and uber snotty) reply and then went to fume outside for a bit. UNNAMED PARTY later half-heartedly apologized, but the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth.
* And then I feel guilty about even mentioning that here because UNNAMED PARTY is really not bad, and I have a pretty good gig and people seem to like me so....
* That being said, it made me really paranoid about leaving early these past few days. And my friend, M, is in town staying with me and I really wanted to take a day off and spend time with her, but was conflicted about it. :-(
* We're going out tonight.
* I'm going with YG to some family function to meet his extended family. Am brainstorming the perfect outfit. Something of the "she's very polished and classy, yet I can see very nice cleavage" genre.
* I had WW weigh in on Wed. I gained 1.5 lbs in one weekend with my family.
* I plan to be drunk A LOT this weekend.
* I plan on praying that doesn't cause any more bloat.

TGIF, bitches.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


Back in Cambridge. It was hard. It sucked. I'm suddenly seeing my own parents and my aunt as very mortal. And I'm divorced. After years of ups and downs, the conclusion only took 15 minutes.

I came home to a clean house. YG cleaned my house while I was away, including the gross litter box, because he's just like that. A nice person. A good person who does nice things for other people rather than talking about doing nice things.

I'm going to bed shortly to prepare for what looks to be a grueling day at work tomorrow and to be nicely rested for when why houseguest, M, arrives. I'm very excited to have company -- it will help keep me out of my mopiness.

Lyrics that are resonating right now.
Grace -- Kate Havnevik
I'm on my knees
only memories
are left for me to hold

Dont know how
but Ill get by
Slowly pull myself together

Theres no escape
So keep me safe
This feels so unreal

Nothing comes easily
Fill this empty space
Nothing is like it seems
Turn my grief to grace

I feel the cold
Loneliness unfold
Like from another world

Come what may
I wont fade away
But I know I might change

Nothing comes easily
Fill this empty space
Nothing is like it was
Turn my grief to grace

Nothing comes easily
Where do I begin?
Nothing can bring me peace
Ive lost everything
I just want to feel your embrace