Friday, September 15, 2006

Linky link

I've been a long time reader of Tomato Nation, and was catching up today.

A good one:
I'm not homesick, but this bit did make me tear up a bit:
"I had that album on for whatever reason, needing something familiar, and of course I had to listen to "America" a few dozen times -- even though the cheesy keyboard on the live version always drives me nuts -- because the crowd greets the "counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike" line with a happy roar. Every time I hear that line, wherever I am, I smile, because the Turnpike is a thing that belongs to me, the banks of reeds, the big blue steel dinosaurs in Kearny, the rest stops named for poets. It's mine because it's home and it's home because it's mine. "

And this one:
Because of my recent games fascination, and props for mentioning Max Fisher.
"I feel like women are sort of encouraged by society to talk about what dorks they were in school, and how, if we got straight As, we had to pay for it with no dates, and that it's especially important for women to kind of mediate our dorkiness so we don't come off as "too intense" or "threatening" or whatever it is that makes a smart girl theoretically less hot."

Other good reads:
Blurbomat on Steve Irwin's death

And the original article it links to on Daddytypes

Off to New York for the weekend. The magic number is SIX.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

My Friend, The Bachelor

Another giggle fit.

-----Original Message-----
From: LinkedIn
Sent: Wednesday, September 13, 2006 5:37 PM
Subject: ABC TV searching on LinkedIn to find Professional Bachelor

Dear XXXX,

ABC Television's hit reality television show, The Bachelor, is searching for its next star. After viewing your profile on LinkedIn, the casting producer has selected you as a potential candidate.

ABC is using LinkedIn to find its next Bachelor because this time around, they're looking for an accomplished professional. LinkedIn is about your professional life instead of your personal life, so we don't know if your marital or relationship status qualifies you for the show. However, your professional profile fits the bill.

If you think you'd make a great "Bachelor," please let me know by reply XXXX and I will contact you regarding next steps. LinkedIn respects your privacy and will not release your contact information, so you must reply to the email above for us to pass you along as a candidate.

If you know anyone else that would make a great "Bachelor", feel free to let us know about them - ABC will pay a $5,000 reward for any referral that leads to the next star.

Wishing you continued professional success,



My suggested response:

-----Original Message-----
From: JM
Sent: Wednesday, September 13, 2006 5:51 PM
To: YG
Subject: RE: ABC TV searching on LinkedIn to find Professional Bachelor
Importance: High

Dear XXXX–

Thank you for passing along the request from ABC TV. While I certainly believe that my professional accomplishments and relationship status as a recent divorcee make me an excellent candidate for The Bachelor, I will need to decline ABC’s offer because I find myself already saddled down with a big ol’ hozz. Having twenty certifiably insane women “compete” over me certainly does have its appeal [especially the sluts – I love sluts], but my ol’ hozz is about as much of a pain in the ass as those twenty women combined so I think I’m going to have to stick with her for now.



Wednesday, September 13, 2006

On Better Moods and Games

I am officially out of the real estate market. My house was sold yesterday, and with the exception of a few leftover things, my official and legal ties to New Jersey are over. It's amazing how much better I feel. As soon as we got to the airport, that feeling of dread was starting to come back to me and I was anxious about coming back and having to deal with the closing, the divorce, the uncertainty around my job, etc. When I get anxious, I do two things. 1 -- get really clingy and protective of anything that seems vaguely secure to me. And 2 -- start planning and plotting with Excel spreadsheets and lists and timelines every next possible "life step" I need to take. And well....yeah. That works out.

With just this one thing changing -- the house closing and me having some sort of financial stability -- I'm in a much better mood. I'll figure out the money, I should be able to keep my job or at least lobby for a job in the new company, the divorce is almost final, AND I have some great shit going on. I love Cambridge. I love spending time with my new friends. I'm writing again, and I'm going to start taking some classes. Instead of plotting and planning what's next, I've got some time to just

Other good things:
* Kids Games -- OHMAGOD, I am the Uno afficionado right now. Do you remember Uno? Uno rocks. Wild Card double rocks. Wild Card Draw 4 (in Mass speak) wicked rocks.

SanFran was also my reintroduction to Jenga. Remember those commercials? JENGA! JENGA! We played two rounds at YG's friend's house last weekend. MSquared is apparently quite the Jenga master, but I, who used to be fucking awesome at Jenga, was prepared to take him on. My entry into a new, older and wiser decade did nothing, though, to tone down my competitive streak. Of course, when I get all riled up and ready to kick bitches' asses, I usually suck....and I sucked. I was concentrating so hard and holding my breath that I actually DROOLED on the game. Drooled -- and not the little bit kind, the big slurpy, goopy kind!

I was the first to lose, and was a sore loser about it too. I suppose it would be good to acknowledge how lame and assy that is (to be a sore loser about JENGA), but I offer up the following logical reasons for my loss:

1. Lack of sleep. It was a long day. We all took naps. It took me a while to wake up. I must have been still blurry, and therefore not on top of my game.
2. Wine.
3. Good wine that went down fast.
4. This one courtesy of YG, the math and science whiz: The drool mixed with some kind of chemical on the new coffee table, which when combined formed an unstable element that was disruptive to the stability of the Jenga's pieces.
5. I was distracted by the awesomeness of MSquared's girlfriend's boobs. Seriously, this is the kind of rack you dream of having when working your 12-year-old self's "I must increase my bust" exercises. She was the player of record sitting across from me -- I'm just saying, I could have been distracted.
6. I'm 30 now so my Jenga-playing fingers are no longer as nimble as they used to be.
7. I was distracted thinking about the much-hyped-about food we were getting for dinner post-game. Since it lived up to the hype, it could have made a difference.

All of these are very real possibilities. I'm just sayin'. It's not like I'm going to go out and buy my own Jenga game and practice or anything...:-)

* My first press release went out today with the new company. Woo hoo!

* We're taking the MG to New York this weekend to see a Yankees/Boston game. That's going to be fun. My brother is going to join us. The MG is fascinated by the idea of meeting anyone related to me -- I don't know why that makes me laugh so much, but it does. She's also excited to "see New Jersey."
More praise for the MG -- I hadn't seen her in a while and last night we played games and she gave me the birthday present she picked out all by herself -- a calendar with funny cats on it, and a card with a picture of me with my cats. Not that I'd ever do it, but this stuff kind of makes me understand why you see so many ladies out there wearing those kid-made macaroni necklaces.

Not so hot stuff:

* Today is my 4th wedding anniversary. With the divorce almost final, I'm in a pretty good space and I hope T is enjoying his vacation in Ireland. Still, anniversaries and reminders are just kind of...meh.

* The 9/11 anniversary. I can't believe it's been 5 years. I keep starting to write about how I feel about that, but then I stop. I've also started writing a couple of times about the 9/11 "speech" from Chief Asshat, but it makes me so angry that I need to stop. I do understand that the president is severely mentally disabled so I refrain from using this space to complain about him, because, really, what's the point? Still, I was hoping that at least one of his political "strategists" would advise him to have the good sense to not use the 9/11 anniversary as another chance to roll out a public relations campaign about their unjust, bloody and stupid war. It's shameful, and makes me angry, sick, heartbroken...and hopefully motivated enough to do something that can make a change.

Monday, September 11, 2006

San Francisco Is All It's Cracked Up To Be

Just back from my big mystery trip. As I suspected, we did get to San Francisco and it was just as beautiful as everyone says it is. We did some touristy stuff, but mainly it was relaxing and hanging around with good food, good wine, good conversations, etc. I have a lot of "notes" I took and more pictures, but right now I'm still so jet lagged and just vacation hung over that I don't want to do it right this second.

Overall, I think it's going to be a good decade. I look back at what I've accomplished both professionally and emotionally so far, and I like what I see. But I know there's still so much work to be done. I know what I want. I know who I want to be, and I can accept the disappointments too. I've said some incredibly stupid things too about what I want, and while I wish I could take all of them back and just start over, start new and pretend I never said them or acknowledged them, it's all out there. Maybe this will be the decade of "Looking Like A Fool Is Not Such A Bad Thing." I hate looking like a fool. I hate feeling like I'm always saying the wrong thing or saying too much. Maybe that mantra "it's not my business what other people think of me" will finally start to sink in. But I do care what some people think of me. And I hate taking risks to see them not pay off...risk taking is just so not me -- I prefer planning and order and neatness -- and I guess I have these (ooooh...bad word coming) expectations that when I take a risk, I won't be free falling. OR I won't be so rattled by the free fall. I'm hoping this stuff will change too as I "grow up." So far, my big risk of moving up here and starting over has paid off ENORMOUSLY. I hope to see more of that kind of reward in my future.

Anyway, thank you, YG, for the best birthday present ever! It was an absolute blast and I can't wait to get all the pictures back. :-)