I am officially out of the real estate market. My house was sold yesterday, and with the exception of a few leftover things, my official and legal ties to New Jersey are over. It's amazing how much better I feel. As soon as we got to the airport, that feeling of dread was starting to come back to me and I was anxious about coming back and having to deal with the closing, the divorce, the uncertainty around my job, etc. When I get anxious, I do two things. 1 -- get really clingy and protective of anything that seems vaguely secure to me. And 2 -- start planning and plotting with Excel spreadsheets and lists and timelines every next possible "life step" I need to take. And well....yeah. That works out.
With just this one thing changing -- the house closing and me having some sort of financial stability -- I'm in a much better mood. I'll figure out the money, I should be able to keep my job or at least lobby for a job in the new company, the divorce is almost final, AND I have some great shit going on. I love Cambridge. I love spending time with my new friends. I'm writing again, and I'm going to start taking some classes. Instead of plotting and planning what's next, I've got some time to just ...be.
Other good things:
* Kids Games -- OHMAGOD, I am the Uno afficionado right now. Do you remember Uno? Uno rocks. Wild Card double rocks. Wild Card Draw 4 (in Mass speak) wicked rocks.
SanFran was also my reintroduction to Jenga. Remember those commercials? JENGA! JENGA! We played two rounds at YG's friend's house last weekend. MSquared is apparently quite the Jenga master, but I, who used to be fucking awesome at Jenga, was prepared to take him on. My entry into a new, older and wiser decade did nothing, though, to tone down my competitive streak. Of course, when I get all riled up and ready to kick bitches' asses, I usually suck....and I sucked. I was concentrating so hard and holding my breath that I actually DROOLED on the game. Drooled -- and not the little bit kind, the big slurpy, goopy kind!
I was the first to lose, and was a sore loser about it too. I suppose it would be good to acknowledge how lame and assy that is (to be a sore loser about JENGA), but I offer up the following logical reasons for my loss:
1. Lack of sleep. It was a long day. We all took naps. It took me a while to wake up. I must have been still blurry, and therefore not on top of my game.
3. Good wine that went down fast.
4. This one courtesy of YG, the math and science whiz: The drool mixed with some kind of chemical on the new coffee table, which when combined formed an unstable element that was disruptive to the stability of the Jenga's pieces.
5. I was distracted by the awesomeness of MSquared's girlfriend's boobs. Seriously, this is the kind of rack you dream of having when working your 12-year-old self's "I must increase my bust" exercises. She was the player of record sitting across from me -- I'm just saying, I could have been distracted.
6. I'm 30 now so my Jenga-playing fingers are no longer as nimble as they used to be.
7. I was distracted thinking about the much-hyped-about food we were getting for dinner post-game. Since it lived up to the hype, it could have made a difference.
All of these are very real possibilities. I'm just sayin'. It's not like I'm going to go out and buy my own Jenga game and practice or anything...:-)
* My first press release went out today with the new company. Woo hoo!
* We're taking the MG to New York this weekend to see a Yankees/Boston game. That's going to be fun. My brother is going to join us. The MG is fascinated by the idea of meeting anyone related to me -- I don't know why that makes me laugh so much, but it does. She's also excited to "see New Jersey."
More praise for the MG -- I hadn't seen her in a while and last night we played games and she gave me the birthday present she picked out all by herself -- a calendar with funny cats on it, and a card with a picture of me with my cats. Not that I'd ever do it, but this stuff kind of makes me understand why you see so many ladies out there wearing those kid-made macaroni necklaces.
Not so hot stuff:
* Today is my 4th wedding anniversary. With the divorce almost final, I'm in a pretty good space and I hope T is enjoying his vacation in Ireland. Still, anniversaries and reminders are just kind of...meh.
* The 9/11 anniversary. I can't believe it's been 5 years. I keep starting to write about how I feel about that, but then I stop. I've also started writing a couple of times about the 9/11 "speech" from Chief Asshat, but it makes me so angry that I need to stop. I do understand that the president is severely mentally disabled so I refrain from using this space to complain about him, because, really, what's the point? Still, I was hoping that at least one of his political "strategists" would advise him to have the good sense to not use the 9/11 anniversary as another chance to roll out a public relations campaign about their unjust, bloody and stupid war. It's shameful, and makes me angry, sick, heartbroken...and hopefully motivated enough to do something that can make a change.