Thursday, September 14, 2006

My Friend, The Bachelor

Another giggle fit.

-----Original Message-----
From: LinkedIn
Sent: Wednesday, September 13, 2006 5:37 PM
Subject: ABC TV searching on LinkedIn to find Professional Bachelor

Dear XXXX,

ABC Television's hit reality television show, The Bachelor, is searching for its next star. After viewing your profile on LinkedIn, the casting producer has selected you as a potential candidate.

ABC is using LinkedIn to find its next Bachelor because this time around, they're looking for an accomplished professional. LinkedIn is about your professional life instead of your personal life, so we don't know if your marital or relationship status qualifies you for the show. However, your professional profile fits the bill.

If you think you'd make a great "Bachelor," please let me know by reply XXXX and I will contact you regarding next steps. LinkedIn respects your privacy and will not release your contact information, so you must reply to the email above for us to pass you along as a candidate.

If you know anyone else that would make a great "Bachelor", feel free to let us know about them - ABC will pay a $5,000 reward for any referral that leads to the next star.

Wishing you continued professional success,



My suggested response:

-----Original Message-----
From: JM
Sent: Wednesday, September 13, 2006 5:51 PM
To: YG
Subject: RE: ABC TV searching on LinkedIn to find Professional Bachelor
Importance: High

Dear XXXX–

Thank you for passing along the request from ABC TV. While I certainly believe that my professional accomplishments and relationship status as a recent divorcee make me an excellent candidate for The Bachelor, I will need to decline ABC’s offer because I find myself already saddled down with a big ol’ hozz. Having twenty certifiably insane women “compete” over me certainly does have its appeal [especially the sluts – I love sluts], but my ol’ hozz is about as much of a pain in the ass as those twenty women combined so I think I’m going to have to stick with her for now.



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