Saturday, November 17, 2007

Sick

I missed two days of blogging because I've been holed up in my house, sick yet again. I attempted to go to work on Thursday, and that was a very bad idea. I felt like my head was going to explode and just sat in my cube wimpering -- a total waste of a good outfit. Went home and went right to bed, but I couldn't sleep because I was coughing and too stuffy. You would not BELIEVE the shit that I'm coughing up.

Normally, I'd be all excited about almost a week's worth of working at home, but I'm just kind of sad and whiny.

And of course, self-blaming because:
* If I took better care of myself, I wouldn't be sick
* If I ate better, I wouldn't be sick
* If I exercised more, I wouldn't be sick
* If I didn't let myself get so stressed out, I wouldn't be sick

And so on. It's lovely. :-(

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Woe Is Me

File under: Things That Suck.

* I am sick AGAIN. Not deathly ill, not flu-like, just motherfucking annoyingly filled with snot. Argh. After Hacking up My Lung Cold Part 1, I had about 3 minutes of feeling human before starting to feel this way again. I keep blowing my nose and coughing, but all I really want to do is sleep and stay in sweatpants all day.

I attempted to run three miles this morning with Snot Cold, and that sucked. I worked from home, but that freaks me out with its solitariness so I decided to walk up to Davis for lunch and more cough medicine. I threw on a hot outfit of white sweat socks, clogs, jeans that are too short and one of YG's sweatshirts and headed to Diesel where my homeless ensemble attracted one of the local crazies. She sat next to me at the lunch counter, kept breathing in my ear, and freaked the fuck out when I said that I eat meat. She had total rat's nest hair, about three teeth, and was just spaced out, but got very very angry when I told her about how I slaughter baby cows for fun and roast them in a pit in my yard (read: am not a vegetarian.) Everyone else was politely ignoring us and wishing us gone.

I'm not usually down with the whole interacting with the public thing, but I've been getting better. I'm not outwardly hostile, and I generally enjoy the people at Diesel and like chatting there. Not today. Not down with the crazy. I wish I wasn't feeling so miserable -- then I would have walked to McDonald's and ordered a cheesesteak and eaten it in front of her. Today, I just pretended to be deaf.

* I just had another $600 worth of work done on my car. "Winterizing," oil change, brakes, transmission fluid flush and some other shit that I don't really understand. I know I'm a smart person, but I don't understand anything about cars. This has nothing to do with my gender. I'm just not smart about them. I'm not smart about bidets either, but you don't have anyone questioning my worth as a human because I don't understand why you'd build something to shoot water up your ass. Anyway, I usually take my car in when I'm going on a long trip or something bad hasn't happened in a while. I'm driving to NJ next week during the worst driving time of the year and I had the great pleasure of my car breaking down on Thanksgiving weekend on the Pike last year, so I decided to take it in. I asked for the winterizing thing, and when they called to tell me everything else I needed, I relied on YG to translate -- or explain it to me as he would to a baby or to a retarded person. Basically, it translates into $600. Good times.

* I just realized that a Secret Santa exchange that I signed up for requires me to make something, not buy something. I am not crafty. At all. I do not cook, knit, paint, draw, woodwork, sew, needlepoint, bedazzle or anything like it. I shop. I am a capitalist. I feel very, very badly for my person who is probably going to get a deformed origami bird with a "it's unfortunate that I suck. Happy Nondemoninational Holiday" card.

And that is it for today. No spell checking. More sleep.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Some Kind of Relief

I didn't get laid off tonight. I didn't think I would, but there was a piece of me that would have actually been relieved. Don't get me wrong -- I NEED to work and I have a lot of expenses (rent, car payments, credit card debt, the whole freakin' wedding). But there's a part of me that feels that getting laid off now would not be the worst thing that ever happened to me.

It might force the issue of figuring out what to do next. I know that I want to spend more time writing, and I know that I want to use some of my work skills to help our church out more with some of its PR and comms needs. If I wasn't working so much, I could. If I wasn't working so much, I wouldn't have time to fuck around and wonder what I should do next. I would HAVE to figure it out.

There's a part of me that would LOVE to tell my very work-identified parents that I got laid off and that I was going to get a job at Starbucks and "thanks for shelling out that hundred grand on my education and always telling me that I was important and shit and to make you proud. Yeah. Thanks. But I think I'm going to hang out and write poetry, maybe smoke a little pot and make coffee. Okay. And maybe walk dogs too. Hope you're not disappointed or anything." :-)

Oh well. I guess this is for the best and I'll keep on keepin' on if you will.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Sweet!

We just joined the new gym in Davis Square. It's lame how happy I am about this, but I am totally going to kick ass running and biking this winter.

And then I am going to SMOKE YG on the rail trail next spring.
Yes, I said this last year, but this time, for reals.

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Sunday, November 11, 2007

Cooking Blows, And Other Observations

I smell like onions. I have been chopping onions for the last half hour because I'm cooking tonight. And I *never* cook. To be fair, I actually love this chili recipe. But I'm much more in love with the eating part.

YG and I taught Sunday school for the first time today. We've been assisting for the past few weeks, but this was the first time we were there alone. He taught. I was the doorkeeper -- the polite way of saying the disciplinarian. Nobody died, was taken to the hospital, or hit or bit each other. It was three little boys and one hyperactive girl. We did Exodus. When asked what was your favorite part of the story, the boys said, "when all the Eygyptians died." Adding, "like in the movie." Fair enough.

In wedding news, the photographer is booked and so is the DJ (read -- guy who comes and plays the playlists off my iPod). So if you're coming and you think the music sucks, it's my fault.

In general news, I'm enjoying running in the cold weather. I hauled my ass out of bed at 6 a.m. last Friday and ran in the neighborhood and it was fantastic. Today, not so much. I sucked ass -- was slow and winded the whole time and feeling blah. I'm running a 5K in NJ on Thanksgiving morning and I'm hoping to improve on my times.

Wow, I am really fucking boring today. I chopped onions. We bought vitamins. Huzzah.