Note: Spoiler alert.
And because I'm procrastinating.
Michael is the rock star here. Even if his clothes weren't awesome, he actually used the phrase "Captain Save-a-Ho." I LOVE him. Uli is lovely. I can't decide if Laura is awful or fabulous. I lean towards awful, but then I sway. I hope I look that great at 42 AND after 5 kids. They might be the final three.
Things I'm amazed by:
* I can't believe they broke up the Totally Not Ambiguously Gay Duo. I'll miss Robert. He was my boyfriend with his "You Look Hotter Online" t-shirt. Kayne is wonderful, but I'm expecting him to have some sort of glitter and rhinestone explosion soon that won't be pretty.
As opposed to all those glitter/rhinestone creations that are pretty.
* Fucking Jumbles Jubilee and Vincent are still there. I loathe her and her hideous bubble skirt.
* Oh Jeffrey. Words cannot express the full extent of your suckage. If I were still 17 and wearing my goth lipstick and buying Dead Kennedys cds at Alwick Records at the Livingston Mall and you were the guy working the counter at Alwick Records with tattoos and a mohawk, I *might* think you were cool. But I still have enough faith in my 17-year-old lame ass self to think that I'd probably know that you were a tool and would just laugh at your too-cool-for-school persona. Problem is, dude, you're not 17. You're about 40 and still acting like the fucking world owes you a favor and ranting and raving about "the man" and "conformity." Basically, you're an asshole and everyone knows it, and while your clothes might have a point of view, per the judges' take, they're still ugly. AND if you ever made my mom cry on national television, I'd beat your ugly face in with my sewing machine. But knowing my mom, she'd beat me to it.
* Oh, and don't even pull the recovering alcoholic/junkie card. I know a ton of recovery folks. I've been to their meetings. They don't suck as much as you.