Friday, December 22, 2006

WARNING: Sappy Melodrama Attack

I have a lot of stuff to write about, but I'm finishing up some work stuff and my brain is fixating on one point. I get a lot of questions about who YG is, where we met, how long I've known him, what he's like, etc. I answer them, but I really don't feel the need to turn my blog into some gushy "look at how awesome my boyfriend is" diary. Ack, I have the feeling I've used that same sentence somewhere in a post before. Anyway, moving on...

I'm going home to NJ on Sat to spend the holidays with my family. YG and the MG will be joining us from Tuesday through Thursday for some NYC fun time, so I guess I never gave a lot of headspace to Christmas morning and what it would be like. I'll be home doing the same thing I've done for the past 30 years, except for the years I was married. YG will be alone. He picks up the MG at 2 p.m., but he will be alone on Christmas morning and that just makes me heart-breakingly sad because he's such a good father and I would like nothing more than for him to spend Christmas morning with his little girl. But he can't -- it's not his year. So I wanted to do something nice for him on Christmas morning to take the edge off a bit. After a fruitless morning on 1800Flowers, FTD, Edible Arrangements and a variety of other craptastic sites, I decided I don't have to GIVE anything. I just want to write about him and tell all my friends how great he is because that's not something I usually do, and it feels all "ew, gross, boys!"...a little bit anyway.

Note: If you happen to BE YG and are reading this, you need to stop until Christmas morning. Plus, I'm stealing gratiutously from my Christmas card and it would lame if you read this before that

The Abridged Version:

I met YG at one of my previous jobs. I worked with lots and lots of men, and I was married, but there was something about him that cut through the clutter. Something that told me that I should be friends with him because he seemed like a genuine person, in a world filled with kind of crappy people or at best, people that don't quite know themselves. We became work friends, and then became outside-of-work friends. When our respective marriages started to fall apart, he was one person that could relate to what I was going through and didn't judge me when I was leaning in one direction on marriage/divorce and then would seemingly do a 180 the next day. He just got it.

For a while, we lost touch and didn't speak to each other, as you do with work friends after you move on to another company. Sometimes you realize you don't have much in common with those work friends after you move on. When we started talking again, I realized that he would always be a good friend, and not just a work person that I sometimes exchange emails with. And now we live in the same State.

We both were seperated. We both started sniffing around each other. We started dating. I fell HARD.

At the beginning, I was really prolific. I felt like I had words and feelings just tumbling out of me that I had to melodramatically proclaim to the world and to him. I wrote lots of long letters, I did a lot of journaling, I talked to a lot of people. I had been unhappy for so long that I felt that the world needed to hear my testimony. Yeah. * eye roll*

And things are different now. I'm not floating around like a poet anymore, but I do have this FEELING of things in my life being right and happy and GOOD. As a writer, how do you say that? How do you make that real? I am happy. YG makes me happy. It isn't pretty, it isn't poetic -- it's just true.

In the past year, I've gone through a tumultous and heart-wrenching divorce, a family death, a major slump and depression last spring, the soul-sucking numbness of my last job, the ups and downs of adjusting to being part of the MG's life, and a major location change from New Jersey to Massachusetts.

And he's always been there. And he's always been cool. He's supported me, he's had my back and most importantly, he's called me on my bullshit when I act like the little fucker we all know I can be. I know I can count on him, I trust him, and I feel safe with him, and I hope he understands how much of a big freakin' deal that is.

To YG (a repeat, but I liked it, and I hope you're reading this on Christmas morning): I think I knew I loved you early in our relationship, but I wasn't really sure what that meant. It was fun and exciting and a welcome breath of fresh air after all we had been through with our previous spouses, but it doesn't compare to now. The more I get to know you, the more shit we have to deal with together, the more I change and the more I see you grow, the more I realize how lucky and blessed I am. Thank you for being you. I hate that you have to be alone this morning, but I want you to know that I'm thinking about you, the MG is thinking about you, your family and friends are thinking about you, even some strangers to you are thinking about you -- and that we all think you're just wonderful. Now go read the comments section to see what I mean.

To everyone else: Don't hold this sappiness against me. I'll go back to scaring children and small animals after the holidays are over.


Katy said...

I know! YG: stay up really late on Christmas eve having fun, then sleep in until 1 pm. Voila: at 2 pm, it's Christmas morning for you...

Merry merry to all--

dezzmama said...

Hey there R: I hope you have a marvelous holiday. You have a marvelous woman who lets lots of people know that there ain't no better man. :) Merry Christmas from California!

Karo said...

Yeah, what Dezz said! Happy holiday wishes being beamed your way all the way from Dallas.

Jane said...

Happy holidays YG! Your daughter loves you (and knows that you love her) no matter when she sees you (or doesn't see you). Take this from someone who shared Christmases between her parents from the tender age of 8.

Christmas morning is overrated, anyway. :)

Rick said...

Hey Man,
You are a righteous man who is courteous, kind, thoughtful, smart(very smart),considerate, as well as one who knows about the well being of family, friends, and associates and takes action to assure it for all of these people around you, and.. you have a dry-well-apreciated wit, and.. we who know you hold you in hi esteem as you don't preach but practice in action the ways of being human in a community of family friends and associates. We all love you. Merry Chistmas and.. carry on!

Rick 2 said...

yeah I know- check the spelling-think of it as art. ok :)

Ass Master said...

People you don't know in Virginia are thinking of you and hoping your Christmas is great. It gives me warm fuzzies to hear how awesome you are. Merry Christmas!

Abigail said...

Hey there -- we met at Flute, remember? Anyway, enjoy your solitary Christmas day and all these deadly melodrama beams of near-stranger love :)

Sarachkah said...

In fact two people in Virginia are thinking about you and sending warm and squishy Baby Jesus vibes to you on Christmas morning! You have a lot of people that love you a lot!

Mary said...

Merry Christmas! Congratulations on the sappy melodrama you inspire. :)

One of the best Christmases I ever had was totally solo...I woke up, I made myself a treat, I opened a few presents that were under my tree, and then I spent the rest of the morning lying on the floor of my living room, petting my cat and writing and thinking about how lucky I was to have so many wonderful people in my life (even though none of them could be there right then). I hope your Christmas morning goes something like that! All my best from Oregon.

The MG said...

Dear Dad --
Merry Christmas. I wish you have a great Christmas and I will see you later but I miss you now. I love you so much in the whole wide world. You are the best dad I ever had. I love you so much you don't even know it. You are the most wonderful boy I ever met. I wish you have the best Christmas ever.

[note: typed by JM on behalf of Jessica]

beck said...

I have yet to meet you, though you make my dear friend JM very happy. That's enough for me to know you must be a pretty cool guy...

Merry Christmas from Syracuse (where there is no snow this year...!)

Casey said...

Merry Christmas! You and I only "met" once, on Instant Messenger :eyeroll: but you were the kindest, most solicitous, and warmest imaginable person I possibly could imagine having bothered with questions about the premiere of Veronica Mars Season 2. You, Jenn and the MG are so lucky to have each other. Happy holidays from New Haven, New York, and the gorgeous stretch of parkway in between.

madame.x said...

Well, Christmas Day is more than half over here, but wishing a much-bragged-about man and his much-bragged-about daughter a very merry Christmas - and you too, Jenn!

Anonymous said...

Ho ho ho, merrrrrrrry Christmas! We had brunch the other day. I was the broad who was not your little lady. You are a cool cat and a V.G.BF, declares I.

If this message is incoherent, it is because I did three different Christmas services, starting from 10:45AM and ending at 9:30PM. I am pooped and all caroled out (o-ho-ver yooooou, says Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam). Oh good lord, I am totally incoherent.

To quote Walker and Texas Ranger, "TWO CHRISTMASES!"

-SKB, incoherently yours

Anonymous said...

I am simply overwhelmed. I am not used to something being all about me. Part of that comes from being a parent, and some of it is just who I am. Thank you SG. Thank you MG. And thank you online community of friends.

Yes, I am alone this Christmas morning. However, what woke me was a breathlessly excited call from my daughter Jessica (the MG) telling me all the wonderful things Santa brought her, and saying she could not wait to see me. While I am alone, I do feel comforted by this feeling of love I have from my friends and family and the wonderful people who posted here. And even though it’s something that perhaps others take for granted, I know that my daughter loves me. I am okay being alone this morning. I have a “me” morning planned of taking a long walk, doing some reading and writing and I am sure, before I know it, 2:00 p.m. will be here. And in 24 hours or so I should be in the Garden State.

A few comments to the posters:

Dezz: Sorry we missed you in SF. Hopefully we’ll meet in February.

Karo: You’ll have to tell me about some fun things in Dallas. I’ll be in Plano frequently in 2007.

Jane: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Rick: Thanks man. I appreciate those words from you.

Ass master and sarachkah: Thanks for the Va fuzzies.

Abigail: Luckily I am wearing my melodrama beam-proof vest this morning.

Mary: Your morning sounds a lot like the one I have planned – sans cat. And I share your feeling of luckiness.

Beck: I can’t wait to meet you and Phil. Jenn says Phil and I can bond over the benefits of carbon fiber versus titanium road bikes… while wearing spandex.

Casey: Thank you for your kind words. Note to self: Catch up on Veronica Mars if I ever intend to borrow Jenn’s computer again.

Madame X – Thank you.

SKB – Like most people, and I’ll forgive you because you are exhausted, you forgot “with Full Force.” It was: “Lisa Lisa with Cult Jam… and Full Force.”

To the MG: You are a sweet little girl, but your strength and generosity amaze me. You make me proud every day of how you handle life’s ups and downs. I can see the beginnings of the person you will be in the future and I am so happy about that. Thank you for this nice surprise of thinking about me and writing me a letter on Christmas morning. I love you, monkey.

Finally, to the SG: My wonderful girlfriend Jenn. You are such a great person. The more time we spend together and the more I get to know you, the more I love you. You have transitioned in our relationship from just you and I every other weekend to incorporating Jessica into our everyday lives with grace and strength. Building a successful relationship with a 7-year old when you have no experience with children isn’t easy. Yet a few weeks ago she spontaneously looked at you and said that she loved you. I love that you are in my life, but I also love that you are in the MG’s life. You are the role-model woman I know she’ll learn the most from. Thank you for this gift. SG + YG + MG = A Happy Three.

Merry Christmas.


Thomas said...

what a great chance you had to let people know how fucked up life can be ... why didn't you say you slept with him while you were still married to me ... drunk, and then again and again while giving me shit about a comment I made about not having enough money to get you a b-day present. This was quite something to read. I wonder if there is a blog about me somewhere.