Fat Tuesday: Sayonara Fuckpig

It's that time of year. Fat Tuesday -- the last day before Lent begins. Every year, I try and give up something, along with adding something new to my daily routine. And every year, I usually fail in the "giving up." One year it was chocolate; another year it was spending money on shoes, and then another year it was Fat Free Wheat Thins. Jesus died for our sins -- I give up mass-marketed carbohydrates. Seems like a fair trade. Recently, I was reminded that Protestants don't give things up for Lent, but this is one Catholic thing that YG and I can't give up.

So this year, I have resolved to do two things:

* Remind myself that I am rich compared to most of the world, so I'm attempting to live on half of my paycheck for the next two months.

* Clean up my filthy language.

Unfortunately, of these two, I think that the first one might actually be easier. I have such a hard time with the language, but now that we have the MG around more, I'm really AWARE of how bad it is.

So, on this Fat Tuesday, I'm listing out the words that I'm giving up for the next 40days and 40 nights, including some of my favorites:

* Douche, douchebag, douchehound, douchebuggery, etc.

* Shit, shithead, shitsville

* Cocksucker, cum guzzler

* I am not giving up "balls" or "testicles" hands down. But, when YG and I are sparring, I will refrain from saying, "Hey, you've got some nad sweat on your head," or "oooh, look. There's a testy pube in your front tooth." Also, I will need to find a new way to talk about bad days because "sucks the bag" is taking a break.

* Vagina, except in conversations where I may happen to be talking about my actual vagina. Things like "he's a pussy" or "suck vag" will be going away.

* Dirty whore, skank ho and the like.

* Fuck, fucker, fucktard, fucked, what the fuck, fucktastic, and my newly crowned favorite word EVER: fuckpig. Fuckpig is just so, so, so perfect, but I will find a way to move on.

And now it's time to go spend some money, before midnight strikes.