YG and I first started going to First Church about 2.5 years ago when we both realized that we wanted to find a church to go to. We were both raised Catholic but were more or less kicked out when we got divorced. We shopped around for churches, but none felt right. And then we walked into First Church and everything just changed. We were where we were supposed to be.
I don't generally like to talk religion or church because it generally freaks people out and makes them assume you are some kind of Jesus freak. So I keep it personal, as I think most religion and/or faith should be.
Every quarter, First Church offers a healing mass. They sing nice songs and the people who want or need to get to talk to a deacon or the pastor and tell them what's on their mind. Then they bless you, offer you some kind words and send you on your way. It's a little bit like Confession, but out in the open. Sometimes, I need it and other times I find myself annoyed because it takes so long and I long for the days of Catholic Mass because at least you know you're ALWAYS going to get out in 50 minutes or less.
Today, I was fairly certain I didn't need it, but then I just started crying in church for I don't know what reason. I've been overly emotional these past few days, realizing that we have just 11 weeks left until Zygote shows up. There's a lot of work we need to do and I'm overly stressed at my job, and just wondering how I'm going to handle having a baby; if I'm suited to have a baby because I'm so selfish; if I'm going to be a shitty mother; if YG and I are going to fall apart; if I'm going to have no life left -- basically I'm overwhelmed with how much my life is going to change. I'm sure this is all normal and everybody feels this way, but I'm just on edge. So I said my bit, all snot faced and weepy, and I got my healing prayer and I immediately felt better.
I don't know if it works for everyone, but it worked for me. And I'm grateful.
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