I can't sleep and am waiting for the Tylenol PM to kick in.
Last week, my friend's six-week-old baby died. I am struggling to figure out if there's something we can do or say and to make sense of how something like this can happen. It was a fitful pregnancy and each week, I would wake up and hope that she would make it through another week and get her kids (twins) to safety. And then a miracle happened, and they were born. Six weeks later, one is gone. IS there anything you can possibly say? It seems like there are no words, and as someone who hides behind words and doesn't deal especially well with feelings, I'm at a loss. I am just sorry. For the family. For my friend. And for the little boy struggling to survive without his sister.
And then there's the strange feeling of guilt over my own healthy family and this renewed desire to fiercely protect them. Today, Zygote had a bunch of shots. She turned purple and screamed and YG held her hands and I stroked her foot. My boobs actually started leaking once she started to cry. She's been hellish all day, but I just kept her close and nursed her more than usual. She isn't a snuggly baby -- she's too kicky and alert for cuddles -- but she stayed wrapped around me for most of the day. And I cried because I'm so lucky to have her in my life.
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