Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Today Was Hard

Nothing in particular went badly. I just found myself, more than once, thinking, "What the hell am I doing here?" Or "I'm leaving the kid for THIS?" I really don't want to use Zygote as an excuse, but all that job disatisfaction from before has become so much more...pronounced now.

Sometimes I really just wish somebody would tell me what to do. An oracle or something that just appears and says, "I've been thinking about your life, and this is what you need to be."

I try and remember that it is not the job (it's a fine job), and that it's me. And that in the grand scheme of things, I am a happy person with a good life and nice husband, cats, children, family, things, etc.

But when pumping is the best part of my work day, something needs to change.

I have applied for four jobs in the last week. I just want an interview.

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