Monday, April 18, 2011

Three Dreams

he pregnancy insomnia is KILLING me. I am blurry eyed and zombie-like during the day and ready to polish our floors at 3 a.m. Three dreams I managed to have last night:

1. I was running the Boston Marathon. YG and I were on Boylston Street on Saturday night and saw the finish line which is probably why it was on my mind. Also, the weather is glorious for running right now, and I not-so-secretly hate all the people who are not waddling. In my dream, I was in some sort of competitive run with someone my size, meaning another Clydesdale, and I wanted to beat them. Even in my dreams, I know I am not an elite runner. We made our way onto Boylston Street and the last few blocks of the marathon, and I tripped and bloodied my knee. I got up and took off. I flew. It was exhilarating.

2. This was followed by a typical “the technology doesn’t work” dream. I was trying to send emails, but I couldn’t remember how to push send and when I called the help desk, I couldn’t find a way to explain the problem. “But it just doesn’t want to GO,” I kept saying.

3. I had a dream about YG and that we were back in The Birds and Ships night at The Milford. We were there, and then I woke up, and I was holding his hand really tight. I wrote this down, “I dreamt about Birds and Ships. You didn’t know me that well then, or maybe you did. I read enough crappy women’s magazines to know that confidence and self-assurance is supposedly more sexy than anything else. I think I had that then. And now I freak out because I can’t cook the chicken right. I am not confident right now – I woke up clutching your hand like a life raft. Forgive the cliché. And the worst part is that even with ‘for better or worse’ and all these kids and basically all your emotional support and financial backing, I still find myself wondering about the inane, bad feminist things like, ‘does he think I am pretty?”

We ALL need a vacation right now. We leave for Florida in less than 24 hours.

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