Friday, August 19, 2011

Facebook Status Updates Too Boring For Facebook Due To The Kids Or The Boobs And Therefore Only Relevant To A Minuscule Subset of Friend Population


* had nothing bitchy to say to the woman who told her the stroller was taking up too much room on the bus. If you have nothing bitchy to say, don't say anything at all.

* is a bit like Leonard Cohen except I chafe in the places where I used to play.

* wants to drop these screaming kids off on the Sears' door. Attach yourself to this, fuckers.

* needs a mommy cause to really fit in with the sanctimommies at mommy group. Wild snow leopards and their impact on our children.

* wonders if it's ever appropriate to live blog your husband's vasectomy.

* does sit ups and planks while Z2 does 'tummy time.' So much crying.

* remembers a time when she didn't have to pick things out of other people's junk.

* is fascinated by this Versailles fountain like boob.

* wonders if she's setting Zygote up for a lifetime of failed romantic relationships with all this loud fart encouragement.

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