Wednesday, July 07, 2010

This Is What A Relationship Looks Like: Sex With Others Edition

Do other couples do this? YG and I were lying around, discussing what other actors and actresses we thought were hot and who we would have sex with if they were right there, you know, in our bed, kind of like the Friends laminated list.

Our lists are pretty pathetic, and it took a lot of conversation and google searching to figure them out. YG's were Carrie Byron (the girl from Mythbusters), Scarlett Johanssen and Jennifer Aniston. With prompting from me, he also decided on Christina Hendricks, but only when I reminded him that she was the hot redhead on Mad Men. For me, he asked me to choose between Brad Pitt and George Clooney, and I said that Clooney wins that one every time, although Brad Pitt got infinitely hotter than his boring blonde midwestern thing when he took up with Angelina Jolie, who is also on my list. Then he asked, "Clooney or Leo?" And really, is that even a question? LEO. Who's hotter than Leo, and we all know that my answer would be Jon Stewart because he is the hell of funny and that always trumps hot. And Denis Leary, just because.

And then, the following conversation ensued:
JM: This is a pretty paltry list. I mean, we're Google image searching "hot people."
YG: Yeah, and I don't even know who half these hot people actually are.
JM: Ditto.
YG: Problem is that even if I wanted to have sex with any of my people, I would want you there too.
JM: That's sweet. I don't even really think about having sex with my people.
YG: What do you think about?
JM: I mean, I don't know. I'd want them to think that I was all hilarious and smart and then notice my giant boobs. I got issues, man. Like, if Leonardo DiCaprio was here, right now, naked, in bed, I'd probably be telling him stupid jokes. Like, even in my fantasies, I'm not hot. But I am really, really funny.
YG: Even in your fantasies, you're fat.
JM: Now see, THAT's funny.
YG: Exactly.
JM: I think I need to blog this now because it's kind of funny and I won't remember it tomorrow.
YG (recapping entire conversation with editorial notes): Go write!

1 comment:

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